I Think I Stink

I've gotten a little lax about what I eat. Now, I'm not a total dorkface who goes around eating obvious sources of gluten, I just haven't been too careful. If I really wanted to be good, I would only eat whole foods that I know are OK. Unfortunately, life happens, and it just isn't that easy.

For example, I went to a dinner and presentation last night at a "fancier" restaurant than I'm used to. I talked to the girl who was asking which dinner I'd like at the registration table, and to my shock and awe, she understood my question about gluten (the second time I asked, but hey- she might be hard of hearing). She said she would check on it and get back to me. Salads were served. I ate mine, hoping for the best with the vinaigrette. Obviously, I passed on the rolls. After much confusion (dinner was served during the presentation, so there was a lot of murmuring going on at my table between the wait staff and myself...), I was served plain chicken breast with potatoes and cabbage-y vegetables. It was alright. At least it wasn't dry.

The biggest dilemma of the evening came at dessert. Suddenly, a caramel pecan cheesecake appeared in front of me. Graham cracker crust. I asked the server if she knew if the cheesecake had any flour in it. She looked at me kind of funny and said "Um, no, you don't put flour in cheesecake." Duh, but you never know.

Not two minutes later, she comes rushing back and says "Yes, there's flour in it, don't eat it!" I was just quick enough to have savored my first crust-avoidant bite. I was then sad and pouted for the rest of the presentation. Once it was over, some friends of mine convinced me that the cheesecake must be ok, she was probably referring to the crust. They are not Celiac experts. Most of what they know came from me.

But you know what? I believed them. I wanted to.

I love cheesecake, and I'm tired of being a freak.

I ate every bite, with the exception of a cheesecake buffer zone next to the crust.

Now today, I pretty much feel crappy. I feel like I'm in more of a daze than usual, partly from lack of sleep, and maybe from gluten??

People at "work" have been asking how I know if I've eaten something contaminated. I tell them I have no clue. Plus, I haven't really felt better enough to recognize when I'm feeling bad.

Is it because I stink at being careful?

I eat my natural flavors, chinese takeout in white sauce with a sprinkle of generic brand soy sauce (no wheat, but caramel color?? flavors?), Breyers ice cream, and other products that are not specifically gluten-free. Of course I read labels and ask questions at restaurants, I'm not asking for it, but I'm also not avoiding everything questionable.

Is it possible to balance what I should eat, what I want to eat, and not drive myself crazy by depriving myself?!