Just wanted to note that I am now 2/8 done with my rotations! It sounds better, though, if I make it 1/4. I'm 1/4 of the way done with my last year of school!
This month went really fast, especially since we moved back in with my family for the month. I've been unexpectedly pretty busy, mostly with seminar work. Maybe we'll use my break in December as another excuse to take advantage of my parents' hospitality, and I'll have a little more time to enjoy being "home" again. Chances are, that month will fly by just like this one did.
On another note- still don't know what caused my "episode" that landed me in the ER. It's a mystery. Here's hoping it doesn't happen again!
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
New developments
Well, I was at the hospital until about 5 yesterday.
Unfortunately, I transitioned from student to patient around 11:30.
It was a pretty normal day, I was following the hematologist around for the day. She was incredibly nice, and I was really excited to learn from her. As we were standing in a room of the clinic, talking to a patient about heparin-induced thrombocytopenia, I started to feel really warm. I looked over at the nurse, and she kind of looked at me funny and asked if I was OK. Apparently, I was beet red.
I left the room and went to sit down because I felt a little dizzy. The nurse took my temperature and got me some water, and then the chills started. I was shaking uncontrollably and at that point becoming a little scared. The doctor told me to call my doctor for an appointment and to go home for the rest of the day. I didn't argue. Then, the room kept starting to spin and go black, so I quickly put my head down. Plans changed, and the doctor said to get a wheelchair and take me to ER. So, there I was being wheeled to the other side of the hospital with my head between my knees, trying hard not to panic (and failing miserably). I was really too scared to be overly self-conscious.
ER was pretty uneventful. I was still feeling pretty awful, alternating between flushing and chills, but I didn't have a fever. My blood pressure was sky high, but that's kind of understandable in the situation. I saw the doctor briefly, part of which I remember, but there was nothing extraordinary. After about an hour of laying in the room by myself, wondering if everyone forgot about me (and my request to use the bathroom), I started feeling better. I eventually got up and found the bathroom anyway (they really did forget), peed in a cup, and that's when the frequent trips to the bathroom started, if you catch my drift. I felt pretty much ok after that, other than some nausea that required the acquisition of a barf bucket.
I'm at a loss. I have no idea what happened. My labs all came back normal, with the exception of an increased white count and increased bands. Looks like infection or stress from that. Some sort of gastroenteritis? Mom's been feeling kind of bad, too. Was it the protein bar I ate an hour before I felt weird? Anything to do with Celiac??
I was there for 5 and 1/2 hours. I may have talked to the doctor for a total of ten minutes, had one set of vitals, and one blood draw. It was incredibly ridiculous. Thanks to my husband and Mom for coming to keep me company. Even they were out of words for hangman by the time we left...
I have been feeling funny sometimes lately anyway. I can just be sitting down and my heart starts beating really fast and I feel short of breath. I thought it was just that I need to make sure I eat often enough, so I've been making sure to keep my blood sugar up. I was just going to let it go and maybe mention it to the doctor, but after this "episode", I'm starting to worry.
I took the day off today because I still feel bad, on and off. I've only eaten pudding and some soup. Every time I eat, I get nauseous. No more diarrhea, presumably because I've barely been eating.
I know that worrying about it only makes it worse, but it's awfully hard not to. I've spent more time sick in that past two months that I have well. I'm worried and frustrated.
I thought I was supposed to feel better at some point?!
Unfortunately, I transitioned from student to patient around 11:30.
It was a pretty normal day, I was following the hematologist around for the day. She was incredibly nice, and I was really excited to learn from her. As we were standing in a room of the clinic, talking to a patient about heparin-induced thrombocytopenia, I started to feel really warm. I looked over at the nurse, and she kind of looked at me funny and asked if I was OK. Apparently, I was beet red.
I left the room and went to sit down because I felt a little dizzy. The nurse took my temperature and got me some water, and then the chills started. I was shaking uncontrollably and at that point becoming a little scared. The doctor told me to call my doctor for an appointment and to go home for the rest of the day. I didn't argue. Then, the room kept starting to spin and go black, so I quickly put my head down. Plans changed, and the doctor said to get a wheelchair and take me to ER. So, there I was being wheeled to the other side of the hospital with my head between my knees, trying hard not to panic (and failing miserably). I was really too scared to be overly self-conscious.
ER was pretty uneventful. I was still feeling pretty awful, alternating between flushing and chills, but I didn't have a fever. My blood pressure was sky high, but that's kind of understandable in the situation. I saw the doctor briefly, part of which I remember, but there was nothing extraordinary. After about an hour of laying in the room by myself, wondering if everyone forgot about me (and my request to use the bathroom), I started feeling better. I eventually got up and found the bathroom anyway (they really did forget), peed in a cup, and that's when the frequent trips to the bathroom started, if you catch my drift. I felt pretty much ok after that, other than some nausea that required the acquisition of a barf bucket.
I'm at a loss. I have no idea what happened. My labs all came back normal, with the exception of an increased white count and increased bands. Looks like infection or stress from that. Some sort of gastroenteritis? Mom's been feeling kind of bad, too. Was it the protein bar I ate an hour before I felt weird? Anything to do with Celiac??
I was there for 5 and 1/2 hours. I may have talked to the doctor for a total of ten minutes, had one set of vitals, and one blood draw. It was incredibly ridiculous. Thanks to my husband and Mom for coming to keep me company. Even they were out of words for hangman by the time we left...
I have been feeling funny sometimes lately anyway. I can just be sitting down and my heart starts beating really fast and I feel short of breath. I thought it was just that I need to make sure I eat often enough, so I've been making sure to keep my blood sugar up. I was just going to let it go and maybe mention it to the doctor, but after this "episode", I'm starting to worry.
I took the day off today because I still feel bad, on and off. I've only eaten pudding and some soup. Every time I eat, I get nauseous. No more diarrhea, presumably because I've barely been eating.
I know that worrying about it only makes it worse, but it's awfully hard not to. I've spent more time sick in that past two months that I have well. I'm worried and frustrated.
I thought I was supposed to feel better at some point?!
Monday, September 17, 2007
I Think I Stink, Part 2
Ok, now I really think I stink.
It all started because of a free meal today from a drug rep. I know, I know, I'm morally against taking gifts from drug reps because I think that it contributes to the ridiculousness of drug prices (although a very small portion of the budget...), but maybe my morality in that regard will kick in once I'm getting paid something.
ANYWAY- I ordered a spinach salad with grilled chicken, bacon, eggs, and strawberries (Bob Evans style). I ate it, with the distinct idea that hey-this chicken has been marinated.
But what was I supposed to do? I was in a meeting, I had it in front of me, and I had no other options. I'd also been feeling funny all morning (shaky and short of breath), I think because I was hungry and my blood sugar was bottoming out?
Now I feel even more funny. Kind of spacey and short of breath. And I'm hungry but full. And my stomach is grumbly.
What complicates things is that I don't know how people normally feel when they've eaten something contaminated. I'm not quite sure how to tell. I feel "funny" a lot, so should I always blame it on gluten and move on, or should I go see my doctor like the little voice in the back of my head is nagging me to do?
Darn salad.
It all started because of a free meal today from a drug rep. I know, I know, I'm morally against taking gifts from drug reps because I think that it contributes to the ridiculousness of drug prices (although a very small portion of the budget...), but maybe my morality in that regard will kick in once I'm getting paid something.
ANYWAY- I ordered a spinach salad with grilled chicken, bacon, eggs, and strawberries (Bob Evans style). I ate it, with the distinct idea that hey-this chicken has been marinated.
But what was I supposed to do? I was in a meeting, I had it in front of me, and I had no other options. I'd also been feeling funny all morning (shaky and short of breath), I think because I was hungry and my blood sugar was bottoming out?
Now I feel even more funny. Kind of spacey and short of breath. And I'm hungry but full. And my stomach is grumbly.
What complicates things is that I don't know how people normally feel when they've eaten something contaminated. I'm not quite sure how to tell. I feel "funny" a lot, so should I always blame it on gluten and move on, or should I go see my doctor like the little voice in the back of my head is nagging me to do?
Darn salad.
Friday, September 14, 2007
I Think I Stink
I've gotten a little lax about what I eat. Now, I'm not a total dorkface who goes around eating obvious sources of gluten, I just haven't been too careful. If I really wanted to be good, I would only eat whole foods that I know are OK. Unfortunately, life happens, and it just isn't that easy.
For example, I went to a dinner and presentation last night at a "fancier" restaurant than I'm used to. I talked to the girl who was asking which dinner I'd like at the registration table, and to my shock and awe, she understood my question about gluten (the second time I asked, but hey- she might be hard of hearing). She said she would check on it and get back to me. Salads were served. I ate mine, hoping for the best with the vinaigrette. Obviously, I passed on the rolls. After much confusion (dinner was served during the presentation, so there was a lot of murmuring going on at my table between the wait staff and myself...), I was served plain chicken breast with potatoes and cabbage-y vegetables. It was alright. At least it wasn't dry.
The biggest dilemma of the evening came at dessert. Suddenly, a caramel pecan cheesecake appeared in front of me. Graham cracker crust. I asked the server if she knew if the cheesecake had any flour in it. She looked at me kind of funny and said "Um, no, you don't put flour in cheesecake." Duh, but you never know.
Not two minutes later, she comes rushing back and says "Yes, there's flour in it, don't eat it!" I was just quick enough to have savored my first crust-avoidant bite. I was then sad and pouted for the rest of the presentation. Once it was over, some friends of mine convinced me that the cheesecake must be ok, she was probably referring to the crust. They are not Celiac experts. Most of what they know came from me.
But you know what? I believed them. I wanted to.
I love cheesecake, and I'm tired of being a freak.
I ate every bite, with the exception of a cheesecake buffer zone next to the crust.
Now today, I pretty much feel crappy. I feel like I'm in more of a daze than usual, partly from lack of sleep, and maybe from gluten??
People at "work" have been asking how I know if I've eaten something contaminated. I tell them I have no clue. Plus, I haven't really felt better enough to recognize when I'm feeling bad.
Is it because I stink at being careful?
I eat my natural flavors, chinese takeout in white sauce with a sprinkle of generic brand soy sauce (no wheat, but caramel color?? flavors?), Breyers ice cream, and other products that are not specifically gluten-free. Of course I read labels and ask questions at restaurants, I'm not asking for it, but I'm also not avoiding everything questionable.
Is it possible to balance what I should eat, what I want to eat, and not drive myself crazy by depriving myself?!
For example, I went to a dinner and presentation last night at a "fancier" restaurant than I'm used to. I talked to the girl who was asking which dinner I'd like at the registration table, and to my shock and awe, she understood my question about gluten (the second time I asked, but hey- she might be hard of hearing). She said she would check on it and get back to me. Salads were served. I ate mine, hoping for the best with the vinaigrette. Obviously, I passed on the rolls. After much confusion (dinner was served during the presentation, so there was a lot of murmuring going on at my table between the wait staff and myself...), I was served plain chicken breast with potatoes and cabbage-y vegetables. It was alright. At least it wasn't dry.
The biggest dilemma of the evening came at dessert. Suddenly, a caramel pecan cheesecake appeared in front of me. Graham cracker crust. I asked the server if she knew if the cheesecake had any flour in it. She looked at me kind of funny and said "Um, no, you don't put flour in cheesecake." Duh, but you never know.
Not two minutes later, she comes rushing back and says "Yes, there's flour in it, don't eat it!" I was just quick enough to have savored my first crust-avoidant bite. I was then sad and pouted for the rest of the presentation. Once it was over, some friends of mine convinced me that the cheesecake must be ok, she was probably referring to the crust. They are not Celiac experts. Most of what they know came from me.
But you know what? I believed them. I wanted to.
I love cheesecake, and I'm tired of being a freak.
I ate every bite, with the exception of a cheesecake buffer zone next to the crust.
Now today, I pretty much feel crappy. I feel like I'm in more of a daze than usual, partly from lack of sleep, and maybe from gluten??
People at "work" have been asking how I know if I've eaten something contaminated. I tell them I have no clue. Plus, I haven't really felt better enough to recognize when I'm feeling bad.
Is it because I stink at being careful?
I eat my natural flavors, chinese takeout in white sauce with a sprinkle of generic brand soy sauce (no wheat, but caramel color?? flavors?), Breyers ice cream, and other products that are not specifically gluten-free. Of course I read labels and ask questions at restaurants, I'm not asking for it, but I'm also not avoiding everything questionable.
Is it possible to balance what I should eat, what I want to eat, and not drive myself crazy by depriving myself?!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I remember...
Some brief thoughts I had this morning...
I remember when the word "terror" wasn't even part of my vocabulary. Or if it was, I was referring to my little brother.
I remember hanging out in the local airport, mesmerized by the planes coming and going, waiting impatiently at the gate to welcome Dad back from a business trip. Or later in life- an embarrassing procession of American flags and loud songs to send my favorite Schnucki back to Germany after her exchange year.
I remember when Afghanistan was another place on a map I learned in geography. Or something I covered up with while laying on the couch.
I remember feeling protected in my country, naive from growing up during peaceful times (relatively speaking).
I remember when I thought that every person must innately place some value on human life.
Today is a day of remembrance. I don't often realize how much things have changed, how much I've changed, until I think back to before. We can never go back to before.
Many thoughts, too many to dive into here.
Do you remember?
I remember when the word "terror" wasn't even part of my vocabulary. Or if it was, I was referring to my little brother.
I remember hanging out in the local airport, mesmerized by the planes coming and going, waiting impatiently at the gate to welcome Dad back from a business trip. Or later in life- an embarrassing procession of American flags and loud songs to send my favorite Schnucki back to Germany after her exchange year.
I remember when Afghanistan was another place on a map I learned in geography. Or something I covered up with while laying on the couch.
I remember feeling protected in my country, naive from growing up during peaceful times (relatively speaking).
I remember when I thought that every person must innately place some value on human life.
Today is a day of remembrance. I don't often realize how much things have changed, how much I've changed, until I think back to before. We can never go back to before.
Many thoughts, too many to dive into here.
Do you remember?
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Almost Autumn
Once upon a time, I didn't like autumn. It was so depressing and hum-drum to have to go back to school after an exciting (or at least somewhat relaxing) summer off. Summer was just the ultimate.
The junior high years consisted of going to the pool and trying to find anything to do in our small town. We'd ride our bikes, eat ice cream at least once a day, play basketball in the driveway (usually against my friend Kevin and my lil bro... I lost a lot), and have campouts in the backyard. In high school it was mostly community theatre musicals and my first summer job at the ice cream shoppe. College summers were great for moving home, mooching off the parents, eating anything but cafeteria food, and finally making some money (although not much) from pharmacy jobs. One summer, I spent an entire month in Germany working at an English Camp. Great memories. All of these experiences led me to falsely believe that summer is definitely the best time of year!
Now that I've spent my past two summers in grad school, the ideal of summer has become somewhat tarnished. Summer is hot. As much as I love to be outside, there is nothing better than your own A/Ced house on a day that's pushing 100 degrees. Most of the things I loved about summer (lack of school being the most significant) have fallen by the wayside. I think I may have gone swimming twice this summer. Theatre is sadly a thing of the past. It just didn't have that giddy, sunny summer feel.
Thus, I have come to the realization that fall is my favorite time of year. I can smell it already. I opened up the house today as I cleaned, and the breeze was wonderful. It's not just the weather- I also love football. I had college football on the TV all day today. (By the way, did anyone else see Appalachian State beat Michigan? Hilarity!). I'm actually kind of sad that I'm missing the UT game I can currently hear... Could've gotten in for free if I'd had someone to go with. Eh, too many drunk people to deal with. Got puked on at the last one I went to. ANYWAY, back to the point. Football, leaves turning, apples, bonfires, pumpkins, hayrides, I pretty much love it all.
The junior high years consisted of going to the pool and trying to find anything to do in our small town. We'd ride our bikes, eat ice cream at least once a day, play basketball in the driveway (usually against my friend Kevin and my lil bro... I lost a lot), and have campouts in the backyard. In high school it was mostly community theatre musicals and my first summer job at the ice cream shoppe. College summers were great for moving home, mooching off the parents, eating anything but cafeteria food, and finally making some money (although not much) from pharmacy jobs. One summer, I spent an entire month in Germany working at an English Camp. Great memories. All of these experiences led me to falsely believe that summer is definitely the best time of year!
Now that I've spent my past two summers in grad school, the ideal of summer has become somewhat tarnished. Summer is hot. As much as I love to be outside, there is nothing better than your own A/Ced house on a day that's pushing 100 degrees. Most of the things I loved about summer (lack of school being the most significant) have fallen by the wayside. I think I may have gone swimming twice this summer. Theatre is sadly a thing of the past. It just didn't have that giddy, sunny summer feel.
Thus, I have come to the realization that fall is my favorite time of year. I can smell it already. I opened up the house today as I cleaned, and the breeze was wonderful. It's not just the weather- I also love football. I had college football on the TV all day today. (By the way, did anyone else see Appalachian State beat Michigan? Hilarity!). I'm actually kind of sad that I'm missing the UT game I can currently hear... Could've gotten in for free if I'd had someone to go with. Eh, too many drunk people to deal with. Got puked on at the last one I went to. ANYWAY, back to the point. Football, leaves turning, apples, bonfires, pumpkins, hayrides, I pretty much love it all.
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